Me..

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The reason to live, to feel, to react or not react is shaped by so many things that not writing about it would be a tragedy. It would just be a beautiful story never told. – Ana Warmsley

My name is Ana Lucia Warmsley, I’m a woman, mother, daughter, sister, friend, veteran, and self-proclaimed anthropologist at heart. I’ve always felt the need to express my feelings because it breathes life, otherwise I might as well be another number on someone’s census an invisible organism that once lived and then died. The idea of inspiring others to continue surviving or better yet living despite the trials and tribulations that comes with life has been my passion for as long as I can remember. Ultimately, I want everyone to live happy. I may sound cliché but the reality of life is that we all share the same world therefore why not connect with one another through our story. I may not have endured all the countless good or bad experiences in life but the ones I have I plan to share in hopes that my struggle can ease that of someone else’s. I was born in Spanish Harlem to a Dominican mother and father. They never wed but one thing I can say is that despite of how I came to existence, life has been anything but easy for me. I was raised by multiple family members and ultimately with my mother and 3 other siblings. As a child I really never felt the reality of being alive. I felt powerless insignificant because no one was hovering over me to ensure I was doing right or wrong, except my older brother. Still, my sense of self did not really understand why I never saw my father as much as I would have needed. I never understood why we lived cooped up in a two bedroom apartment with no space to share and moved so much. All I knew was that physical, verbal, and emotional abuse was tolerated regardless of the offense. I also knew that children did not have a choice at all. I knew that happy moments were fleeting and had to be enjoyed deeply so as not to miss them. I know something was missing but couldn’t make the distinction at such a young such a young age. I knew God existed but I never saw him or thought he knew who I was because that meant I would have not suffered Nevertheless, I grew up to be what I think a well-rounded individual focused on improving not only my life but that of those around me.

At 19years old I joined the Air Force as a medical technologist and served a little bit under 5 years. I really enjoyed my time and by far it has been the best experience of my life. In the service I was exposed to so many different people and so many different types of love and sisterhood I could have ever imagined. While in the military I saw the reality of life and all the things that were happening around me that maybe when I was younger I was not aware of. I never knew the cruelty and bad things that could possibly happen to any human being regardless of race creed or religion. I met wonderful people whom I love and will forever have in my heart. I learned that to live, to feel, to react or not react is shaped by so many things that not writing about it would be a tragedy. It would just be a beautiful story never told. Still the military has taught me a lot about life and about making choices in your life to guide your path to be better person than the one you escape from.

While in the military I met my husband Toree and we have two wonderful beautiful daughters who we will kill and die for at the drop of a dime. Although we’ve had our issues which caused us to separate for a period of 3 years, were back and stronger than ever. During the separation we both moved on thinking that we were going to find better than what we already had. However, we know now that there is no one out there better than us for each other. Given that separation there’s things that have come along with it to include my own experience in the previous relationship with domestic violence. As far as his side of the story that will come at a later time when we figure out what is the repercussions of our separation.

My goal with this blog is to inspire others through my story, struggles, the things that could have broken me a long time ago, and the things that have damaged little pieces of me, but that something in there within me “the will to live” still exists.

This feeling of “I can, I will” feed my heart little by little as things get better or as I start rewiring my own brain into thinking and believing that I can survive what I have gone through. I will tell my story from the perspective of a daughter who grew up with distant parents or absent parents that felt unloved and abandoned even though family was nearby. As God’s child believing in my faith and the trials and tribulations that have come along with questioning my faith throughout my growth. As a young super mom who is striving to give her daughters abundant love and guidance while trying to balance her own career and make her own dreams come true. As a wife and support system to my husband and all the things that come along with that within the relationship, marriage, communication, and all the issues that you can possibly imagine. As a veteran and all the things that have stayed with me post military. I plan to tell my story from the perspective of being an anthropologist at heart and wanting society to change for the better.

6 thoughts on “Me..

  1. Ah, life with its many challenges. I’m so glad that you and your husband got back together. There can be deal breakers in any relationship, but often I think we give up too easily. If the two of you had moved on to other partners, you both still would have had issues with the other partners also…..that’s life unfortunately. I look forward to the day when Jesus will return and we will all be perfected….no more life issues.

      • Absolutely, I have read your journey and my walk in faith has been similar to yours. I’m just grateful that we are never to late to walk with God because of his mercy and belief in us. I just pray that he heals my mind and continues to enter my hear because without him I was lost and deteriorating by the minute. It’s amazing how we focus on life’s chaos so much that nothing else matters and we give into the feeling of being hopeless when deep down we know somehow, we will see tomorrow and can survive anything as long as we believe we can and let God steer our ships. I used to be a half-stepping christian, and now I crave his presence in everything I do. My goal is to inspire change to better humanity, whether you believe in God or not, love towards others is necessary for all and we must give it as freely as Jesus did.

      • You are so right in what you say. I’m glad to hear that you’re craving God’s presence in everything, because so many just look to see God in some big way, and miss all the blessings that He has given. One thing I’ve learned is; God is love and we cannot love Him without loving our humankind, He does not allow it. Keep going, you are on the right track, and even as difficult as it may be at times don’t give in to the manipulations of Satan. This is what I do also. Blessings.

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